I found a love greater than life itself

So this past weekend was Youth Councils, which is this huge event the Youth Department plans that involves youth across the state. It's the biggest event of the year and the first one I got to help plan in my new position. It was amazing...I love my job and I can't believe how blessed I was to be a part of it. I don't feel that I have the time or space to describe it here, but if you'd like to know, keep an eye on the facebook group Empire Division Youth Ministries.

Anyways, that was a long weekend. 10 minutes after I get home Sunday night, I'm faced with my screaming crying brother. Apparently my latest efforts to spend time at home and show that I care haven't been what it needs to be. Apparently my brother feels that I'm abandoning the family when I'm needed the most because I'm moving out. It's to the point where I just don't know what else to do. To be honest here I feel like only my mistakes are being pointed out and I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I wasn't aware at all that my efforts were falling completely short. I'm having a very hard time here...essentially my brother is trying to kick me out while trying to provoke me as much as possible. I'm trying to be flexible and calm, because I could see the fear and anger at the cancer in his eyes that I've been feeling inside. But it is difficult to be trying to make an effort when I feel hate directed at me. I'm swallowing my pride and I asked him to help me do better - I don't give a shit what he feels about me. This is for my mom.

Please pray that I'll be more attuned and that I'll have a better sense of what to do.